How to respond to casual, passing remarks when you haven't heard them properly
Types of casual remarks
Casual and seemingly 'throw-away' remarks seem to come in two types.
One is the sort of remark that people make in passing, like a comment about the weather.
The other can look and sound similar to someone with hearing loss althougu it actually requires a response. An example could be from the shop assistant who mumbles for the hundredth time that day, "Would you like a bag for this?" while not giving any visual signals that an answer is expected.
A big problem is knowing the difference when neither have been heard adequately and both look similar.
Friendly types of throwaway remarks
Friendly types of passing or throwaway remark are the easiest to handle, if you recognise then for what they are, because a nod and a smile will normally suffice.
However, you may long to be sociable in response, but can't because of not knowing what has been said, so not being able to build on it. If you are going to see a reasonable amount of the person concerned, an explanation is in order, but that seems rather excessive as a response to a passing from a stranger. So you never get to know potential friends.
Apparently throwaway remarks that expect an answer
The apparently throwaway remark that requires an answer just makes people with hearing loss look and feel stupid because of the strange looks they get when they don't give a sensible response to what is actually a sensible query.
Eventually you may have to explain, but it is embarrassing and long-winded. I have found that the badge can help because I just smile and touch it to direct their gaze to it. The downside is that they also just smile and never try again.
Outstanding questions about handling throwaway remarks
There don't seem to be any totally satisfactory strategies for handling throw-away, remarks. I have mulled over various possibilities, all of which seem to have disadvantages as well as advantages:
Would it help to wear a T-shirt with writing on like "I am not stupid or unsociable, just deaf"? Probably yes, but the downside would be that it would draw unnecessary attention, particularly from people who wouldn't be speaking to them anyway. So it seems rather over-the-top in normal circumstances, although I have seen it work well for a market tradesman.
Would it help to have a selection of cards showing various messages to present to people who make remarks that aren't heard? Again, probably yes, but by the time that the right card has been located, the moment has almost certainly gone.
Would it help to wear a badge about having hearing problems? I have some experience of this - see badge.
Would it help to exaggerate one's hearing loss in some circumstances so that people give up trying to interact? After all, learning the needs of the hearing impaired take time and are different from one individual to another. and it isn't reasonable to expect anyone but close family, friends and colleagues to make that effort.
Can you suggest a solution?
Disclaimer: The information on this site is for a lay audience and I cannot be responsible for errors or omissions. The views, strategies, advice and suggestions etc are based on my personal experience and are not necessarily appropriate for anyone else. They should, hopefully, stimulate individuals to develop their own strategies.